Nothing comes easy...
These past few days I've realized that it's been a long journey for me to reach this age of (almost) 30! (OMG, I am old!). Looking back 20 years from today, I thought about plenty of differences of myself, I thought about what are the developments that I've accomplished and those things that remain unchanged. I remember those days of my youth (naks!), it's like there are no critical problems, no obligations to think about and less responsibilities, no dramas… no complications. The only thing that I need to worry about is how to get higher grades in school or avoid getting scolded by my parents. Like everybody else, I pretty much relying on weekday allowances or “baon” during school days. If there is no school, I get nothing to spend for my personal agendas. Speaking of those personal activities, like dates or something like that. It is obvious that fancy dates are not affordable for me because It is very expensive. The only choices that I have are Jollibee, McDonalds, and Greenwich; or sometimes if I am really broke I will consider Burger Machine (hala!). And I believe the sayings: “ Kapag nagigipit, kumupit!” (haha).
The biggest decision that I made was ten years ago. From that time, my whole life has changed. I don't really know if it's the right decision or not because like what I said some things remain unchanged, just like how bad the way I live right now. 10 years after migration to United States, the struggle for that "American Dream" never stops. People back in Pinas thinks that money grows in plants in this country. But it’s the most stupid idea of all. Seriously, A second job isn’t that unusual thing. You have to work very hard just to get extra money to spend in here, because living in this country is not cheap, it is very expensive! But somehow, it has also helped me out to fill up the gap of my time just to get over with boredom and home sickness. Sometimes I want to knock off my head and re-think if there is such thing as American Dream? I know I have so much regrets on my decision from the past, but if I would think about it very closely, my wife and I would never meet each other and my little one would never be with us. Some says, "if you're not happy... give it up, quit doing it". But I am the type of guy who treasures time and effort that I spent with something or with someone. I am very committed and will over think of simple things that I've done wrong. It takes time for me to accept the fact that I lose something and will not stop wining about it for weeks and so (makulit ako). I hate giving up, because I know that in the tip of hardship there is a success and in the end, everything will come together and I will get what I worked for. You just need to be smart to play it and think of how you will enjoy doing it.
In life, when you get old, you became mature and you think a lot of things. I say, nothing comes easy.
Labels: family
