Pretty Ugly
Misis: Hon, am I pretty or ugly?
Mister: Uhm.. Both..
Misis: Anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly?
Mister: Ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty ugly.
Designated Hitter
A couple are in bed talking, and the boyfriend decides to make a joke he says," Just think, if your breast could give milk, we could get rid of all the cows,and if your vagina could lay eggs,we could get rid of all the chickens." "Oh yeah?" She replies. "Well,if you could get it up, we'd be able to fire the pool guy."
Pasahe
Sa Isang Jeep ...
Pasahero: Mama, Magkano Po Yung Pasahe?
Driver: 7.50 Yung Minimum
Pasahero: (Dumukot Ito Sa Bulsa Para Kunin Yung Pera Niya, Ngunit sa Di Sinasadyang Dahilan Kulang Yung Pamasahe Niya.) Patay, Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Paano Kaya Ito? (Nag Isip Ito At Lumingon Sa Driver. Napansin Niya Na Duling Ito. Sabi Niya Sa Kanyang Sarili, Tama Duling Yung Driver Sigurado Pag Nagbigay Ako Ng 3.75 di Niya Mapapansin Na Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Kasi Doble Yung Paningin Nito. Inabot Niya Sa Driver Yung Pera.
Ngunit Laking Gulat Niya Nung May Sinabi Yung Driver Sa Kanya.
Driver: Kulang Ito!
Pasahero: Anong Kulang? Di Ba Sabi Mo 7.50 Yung Minimum?
Driver: Oo Nga 7.50 eh Dalawa Kaya Kayo.
PROBLEMA NATIN
HUSBAND: May malaki akong problema.
WIFE: 'Wag mong sabihing problema mo, problema natin, dahil mag-asawa tayo. O' ngayon, anong problema natin??
HUSBAND: Nabuntis natin si Inday at tayo ang ama!!!!
Stupid Grandpa
A grandpa walks into a grandson's apartment and sees a condom on the table. 'What's this!?' demands the grandfather.
'It's a condom," replies the grandson sheepishly.
"What do you use it for?' asks Gramps.
The grandson is surprised that his grandpa really doesn't know what a condom is, and replies, 'I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain."
To his surprise his grandpa says, "That's a great idea," and goes off to the drug store. He asks the pharmacist for a condom.
"What size would you like?" asks the pharmacist.
"Oh, big enough to fit a Camel."
Labels: joke joke lang
